Why Do I Do Such "Stupid" Things?

I fought against the shivers from the cold fall breeze as i tried to lock out my knees in the air. My bases fought against my ankle rolling and at the last second we saved my arabesque from tumbling to the floor. We were coming to the end of a tough stunt sequence and I knew the hardest part was coming. To dismount i had to be thrown into the air, fully twist around and be caught by my bases. I wasn't steady but with competition in three days I needed the practice more than perfection. I twisted halfway around and realized that I had accidentally launched myself over my backspot's head and the browning grass of the football field was quickly approaching. This time, my bases weren't able to slow my descent, and I lay on the ground moaning from the impact. I've fallen flat on my face from 6 feet off the ground, landed first on my elbow then my head from the same height, hurt my back so badly that I can barely walk without getting sick, had the wind knocked out of me numerous times, ruined my knees, and I still want to cheer. I must be insane. And maybe that's a little true. But for once in my life I've found a team sport that I am really passionate about. I'll never be the best. In the long run, tennis is healthier and I have more talent there. But that doesn't matter. In cheerleading, I've found a real challenge: it's about relationships more than anything else. To be a great cheer squad, you have to trust that each person is doing her very best to help the squad. With a group of 14 girls, you will obviously have your bad days. But the victories won past those awful days when you want to claw each other's eyes out far exceed the struggle. Working together to hit that dance perfectly, checking to be sure each motion is in exactly the correct position, trusting the girls around you to throw their bodies between yours and the floor: these are the stresses of cheerleading. If I don't trust my bases, I struggle to perform my best. Our stunt group this year had a lot of changes made to it so that our squad succeeded in competition. We started with me, a 5'4" girl weighing 120 pounds as flyer with girls nearing 200 and 5'8" as my bases and a tall, slim backspot who also happened to be my best friend. We were by far the tallest and most gangly stunt group. Where most flyers are under 5' and weigh around 100 pounds at most, there were days when I questioned my desire to cheer. I know I'm not hefty by anyone's standard, but as a flyer I often look out of place. And it worked for many stunts because of the power beneath me. But there were several one-footed stunts where we just couldn't succeed. So we made some changes and I ended up with one of my original bases and another girl who is even smaller than I. And the stunts went great. But it took weeks of two-hour practices and one girl's concussion before we were ready for competition. Any one of our 14 girls could have quit in that time with no questions asked. But that's not what cheerleading is about. Cheer is about representing your school and yourself with a smile on your face and determination in your heart. No matter the journey or the outcome. For my squad, we finished our competition with a runner-up state champion title, and it was well-earned. While I was not named captain my senior year (it was only my second year of cheerleading), I was able to lead my fellow squad members with my passion and determination. I always got back up off the ground, literally picked the grass out of my teeth, and got back up in the air. And the joy in my girls' faces as we carried off that red plaque will be a memory I never forget. Because I was a part of something that I will always be proud of. Part of my heart will always be up in the air with the next generation of flyers on my alma mater's squad and I'll cheer on my team with my last breath. Cheer has taught me that determination and drive can make up for the size of your school, the raw talent of your teammates, and nearly any other shortcoming. But even if we didn't win I believe I still would risk the injuries again. Because cheer isn't about the victories all the time. It's about a family of athletes fighting till the last buzzer sounds and the last Pom Pom has been put away.

Just Thinking Aloud

What I want--no, need--is focus. Focus on the present alone with my heart set on heaven rather than on my future on Earth. You have control over both so help me to trust you. You know my controlling, perfectionist personality from the beginning of time so You also know how difficult it is for me to surrender. Give me the strength, God, to give You my dreams. Because my dreams are those of a young girl. Give me the dreams of Your daughter. Those will fill my heart and soul to extinguish the small dreams I have. Only then can I be given stewardship over earthly things. That seems a little backward but when Your dreams take over mine do not. And I don't want my small dreams to control me. I want You to guide me closer and closer to You.